79 Thoughts I Had While Watching ‘You, Me & Tuscany’

There are a lot of magical things about working at Vogue—listen to the most recent episode of The Run-Through if you don’t believe me!—but the best one has to be going to see a rom-com at the Grove AMC in the middle of the day and calling it a work responsibility. Today’s viewing assignment? The brand-new Halle Bailey rom-com You, Me & Tuscany, which is kind of giving “Nancy Meyers movie with characters of color in lead roles,” and I mean that as an extreme compliment.

Below, find every thought I had while watching You, Me & Tuscany.

1. New York 🙂
2. I’m going to be there so soon! In the Met basement!
3. Whenever someone has a tiny dog that doesn’t sleep in bed with them, I can’t help but admire their strength.
4. Ooh, perfect latte art!
5. This is a crazy hot outfit that Halle Bailey is wearing at the beginning of the day, but I respect it.
6. Hey, it’s my girl Nia Vardalos!
7. Being mean!
8. Oh, okay, Halle’s character Anna is a housesitter (and the dog isn’t hers, nor is the outfit). Even more respect.
9. How do you get a job as a professional housesitter? I could use a side gig.
10. Then again, I’m messy as hell.
11. Ah, the impossible millennial dream of an in-unit washer-dryer.
12. And the relatable millennial experience of having your best friend angrily send you money-management podcasts.
13. Fries with a side of honey? I like Anna’s style.
14. As does this random cute Italian bar man, I suppose.
15. Ooh, he’s Tuscan.
16. Any man who shows you pictures of his nonna’s flower garden immediately…run, girl.
17. Ah, the rom-com-girl-who’s-about-to-hook-up mirror pep talk.
18. Or…are they just going to quite literally sleep together?
19. I kind of love that.
20. Okay, echoes of my favorite Blue Crush scene (in which the protagonist gets to order room service with her besties in a rich guy’s hotel room after he leaves).
21. I need a random rich Italian man to fly me to Italy with no expectations attached, stat!
22. LOL, I forgot that I will actually be in Tuscany in a month. Time to recreate this vibe! Except with my best friend and her husband and baby son instead of a hot male stranger.
23. Ah, to be able to just wander into a cheese shop in Italy and know what you’re doing.
24. REGÉ-JEAN PAGE! Playing a guy named Michael!
25. When a hot man steals your cheese, you know it’s on.
26. Enemies-to-lovers (I assume) arc initiated!
27. British and Italian? Mamma mia!
28. Aw, Anna looking for Italian lodgings is reminding me of being newly 21 and arriving in a random Italian beach town and ending up renting some random family’s garage with a mattress in it (and, luckily, ending up unmurdered).
29. An in-unit washer-dryer in Italy sounds great, but babe, wait until you try to figure out how to use it.
30. Nobody natters quite like Italian women.
31. And I mean that as a compliment, as a certified yapper myself!
32. I’m stressed about this whole ring caper.
33. Diva…I don’t think Matteo is going to like this surprise engagement.
34. Okay, no self-respecting Italian woman would let her supposed new daughter-in-law do her own laundry.
35. Yeah, Anna’s not really beating the crazy-girl allegations here, I fear.
36. Francesca! My very favorite Italian girls’ name!
37. My other favorite is Chiara.
38. “Having a side piece is the key to a healthy marriage.” Speak on it, Francesca!
39. Hey, it’s hot Michael!
40. And he’s…related to Matteo, somehow?
41. Italo disco time!
42. I mean, when is it not?
43. OMG, baby pig!
44. Uh-oh, female rival.
45. Not Duolingo yelling at me to do my Italian lesson during this specific film!
46. I’m starting to worry that Anna’s fake fiancé is, like…dead.
47. Oh shit, that pretty Italian girl was Matteo’s ex fiancée?
48. And Anna’s ring was…her ring?
49. I’d be mean to Anna, too! Damn!
50. Sideways mentioned!
51. And my king Paul Giamatti indirectly shaded!
52. I’m sure this wine is giving grape.
53. Wow, soil-sifting has never been hotter.
54. And that was even before Michael became shirtless in the name of protecting Anna’s edges.
55. I hope everyone in Italy is this nice to me.
56. Especially at the farmer’s market. That produce!
57. God, now I want Atlanta-style shrimp toast.
58. “Most of the men here are handsome winemakers.” Not true, in my lived experience of Italy!
59. Hey, it’s Matteo!
60. He’s not dead!
61. “Che cazzo fai” feels very fair at this juncture, TBH.
62. Matteo is really being shockingly cool about all this, but then again, Anna is very pretty.
63. Especially in this little crop top!
64. Va-va voom!
65. Boy fight! Boy fight! Boy fight!
66. Not the Italian-season-of-White Lotus soundtrack re-use!
67. God, I want an Aperol spritz so badly right now.
68. This speedy cooking montage is giving me vicarious stress, but Anna can clearly handle herself in the kitchen.
69. This grown-ass man really needs to stop hiding behind his fake fiancée and tell his family he doesn’t want to live in Italy.
70. Oop, Matteo’s still hooking up with Isabella?
71. And thus, the truth comes out!
72. Is Francesca wearing Rixo? How fab.
73. Aw, Nonna coming through at the last minute!
74. “Our mistakes do not define us, they teach us.” Exactly, queen.
75. Rom-com chase time!
76. A classic for a reason.
77. Ugh, I love this Anna-Michael pairing.
78. And you know what? I kind of loved this movie!