60 Thoughts I Had About Season 3, Episode 2 of ‘Euphoria’

Euphoria is so back, and while it’s no, say, Love Story (a show that was hardly perfect, but at least immersed me in the visual culture of ’90s New York, versus a particularly bleak vision of an unnamed city that is clearly present-day Los Angeles and its surrounding suburbs), it’s sort of nice to be catching up with Rue, Maddy, Cassie, Nate, and all the other troubled weirdos who populate this series every week. Let’s dive in to Season 3’s second episode, shall we?

Below, find quite literally every thought I had about Season 3, Episode 2 of Euphoria:

1. We love to see Maddy in bell-bottoms.
2. That may or may not be Versace?
3. “I’m not a victim, I won’t be an HR nightmare, and I believe in capitalism.” Does saying those three things out loud conjure the ghost of Bari Weiss?
4. I’m sorry…are we doing COVID and the 2020 protests on this show? Now?
5. I’m usually really good at identifying LA beaches used in TV and film merely by sight, but I truly have no idea where they are.
6. …Leo Carrillo?
7. God, remember hype houses?
8. And the foot-pic economy?
9. Is that the Friends couch?
10. What can I say, I have a lot of questions.
11. Is Maddy going to manage Cassie?
12. I mean, somebody needs to.
13. Kind of love farm Rue, I have to say.
14. Well, that was a brutal shot of Tish’s hair in a drain.
15. From Laurie to Alamo…I mean, I guess that’s a lateral move, but I see why Alamo’s vibe (and stripper access) would appeal more to Rue.
16. Hmm, is a bit of a gender journey being foreshadowed for Rue?
17. “Mr. Rolex wants to party.” Don’t they always?
18. Okay, kind of love Angel for Rue!
19. You can miss Jules and hook up with hot girls, babe.
20. Hey, it’s Jules herself!
21. God, Zendaya really has the range, acting-wise.
22. This scene on the phone leaving a voicemail for her mom is heartbreaking!
23. Why does Rue as a strip-club house mother make so much sense?
24. ROSALÍA!
25. In a gem-encrusted neck brace!
26. Yay! I understood a whole Spanish sentence!
27. Maybe due to context clues, but still, thank you, Duolingo (and three years of living in LA).
28. Rue and Maddy as unlikely besties has always made me so happy.
29. “I’m not a fucking hooker.” Another Emmy-worthy line delivery from Alexa Demie!
30. Saying “I have a meeting” while dressed in full lingerie is so amazing.
31. Speaking of (ex-)besties…are Cassie and Maddy getting up to their old tricks?
32. “I miss high school,” said no one ever.
33. Glad that Sam Levinson is treating Sydney Sweeney’s much-discussed bust with all the, um, respect it deserves.
34. Ah, to drive down the PCH in a bright-red convertible.
35. Rue’s living the dream!
36. …sort of.
37. Someone’s dream, anyway.
38. Maddy’s kiss curls are everything to me.
39. I love how clearly upset Cassie is by how good Maddy looks.
40. To quaff Aperol spritzes poolside at the Peninsula with one’s frenemy…ah, the joys and vicissitudes of youth and beauty.
41. Aw, it’s Eric Dane 🙁
42. “I’m not getting into the morality of OnlyFans with you.” Fair boundary, Nate!
43. Oh, Rue, let’s not hit women.
44. Are men still making mother-in-law jokes?
45. Very Henny Youngman-core.
46. It’s crazy how hot I found Jacob Elordi in Wuthering Heights and how sexually allergic I am to him on this show.
47. “Why are you dressed as a baby?” Amazing question, SAM LEVINSON!!!!!!!!!!!!
48. Never show a man your phone when he asks you to, girls.
49. I hate this Pucci (?) dress on Cassie, sorry.
50. Okay, how nice could these wedding flowers possibly be?
51. Justice for Juana!
52. “I just grew up in a house with a lot of secrets and lies” —the worst, most controlling man you’ve ever met (Nate).
53. “Is that a dinosaur?” LOL.
54. Nope, it’s a pig!
55. Never talk crazy to Alamo!
56. Jules looks so pretty 🙂
57. “Cali sober” mentioned!
58. Need the details on Jules’s iridescent lavender eye shadow, stat.
59. I’m so scared to meet whoever Jules’s boyfriend is.
60. Sapphic bathtime!