SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Niele Ivey seems again on these images usually — a youthful model of herself, the newly topped 2001 nationwide champion, basking in confetti and the glow of an ideal second.
She had helped orchestrate Notre Dame’s comeback in entrance of a sold-out Savvis Middle, 10 minutes away from the place she first fell in love with a sport. On a twisted ankle, no much less. And when Purdue’s last-second shot rimmed out, she sprinted over halfcourt and leapt into the arms of assistant coach Kevin McGuff. He was the primary particular person she noticed then.
She seems again on the images and sees the enjoyment radiating from her physique. In her thoughts, there was no approach to make it any higher. It was probably the greatest moments of her life.
However not for any of the explanations she thought.
Now, in images from that evening, it’s Philippe she sees most clearly. It’s Philippe she sees first.
She will be able to spot him instantly, there within the second row sporting an Irish shirt, his dreadlocks tucked right into a crocheted tam he made himself, flanked by Ivey’s three different brothers and her dad and mom.
Seven months after these images have been snapped, Niele and her mother, Theresa, would arrive at Barnes Hospital in St. Louis and be led down a collection of hallways by a hospital escort and police officer. A health care provider would take them into a chilly room, the place Niele would really feel a weight at the back of her throat however know that she wanted to remain robust as her mother clutched her hand.
They have been there to determine Philippe’s physique.
Not his radiant smile or his pleasure. Not the sum of 26 years of an attractive life. Not the thoughts of a brother who, a day earlier, had rubbed Niele’s six-month pregnant stomach and reassured her, “Every part shall be effective.”
However the physique.
When the physician pulled again the curtain, it was Philippe. Her mother’s voice nonetheless echoes in Niele’s head, pleading for him to stand up, simply stand up. Of all of the reminiscences of Philippe which have light through the years, this one — the worst one — refuses to go away.
So, as a substitute Niele holds on to that different second in St. Louis. When the entire household had been collectively. When all the pieces nonetheless made sense. When Philippe’s pleasure lower via the confetti and his smile was even brighter than his child sister’s, who had simply received a nationwide title.
He’s the one — not the web or the title or the trophy — who brings her again into this second time and again.
Niele Ivey is an organized particular person. A scheduled particular person. She studied historical past as a result of it was a knowable topic — occasions might be dated, trigger and impact might be discovered. However her first yr out of school had include a number of unanswered questions.
She was annoyed with the on-again-off-again relationship together with her boyfriend. She was getting into the third trimester of her being pregnant not understanding what to anticipate of labor or motherhood. Her second WNBA season loomed, and with it the fears of whether or not or not her physique and thoughts can be prepared.
It was a last-minute determination to drive to St. Louis that November weekend. Dwelling wouldn’t reply any of these questions, however being together with her household would possibly make all of it really feel rather less daunting. And on that five-and-a-half hour drive, Niele knew she was most excited to see Philippe. He would assist her take advantage of sense of this chaos.
Philippe was her brother closest in age. With 5 Ivey children (and simply eight years in between Nick, the eldest, and Niele, the child) their small three-bedroom home had at all times been brimming with exercise and mates. The 4 boys shared a room, both aspect flanked by a bunk mattress, and Niele may at all times be discovered there hanging out together with her brothers, enjoying Atari or Nintendo.
Everybody on the block knew the Iveys and their nook brick home. Knew that when you smelled some contemporary bread or cake, it was coming from Mrs. Ivey’s kitchen. Knew that the massive backyard within the yard was producing contemporary okra, beans, tomatoes and greens.
Philippe was the quietest of the brothers however supplied the sagest recommendation. He didn’t argue with anybody. Everybody preferred him, and Niele preferred him particularly as a result of, once they have been youthful, he at all times picked her first once they went to the YMCA to play basketball or let her have an additional flip in Monopoly, and once they bought older, he was the one who was the very best listener. They spent most of their summer time days at a park close to their home, and so they spent their evenings on the massive entrance porch.
When Niele determined to go to Notre Dame, Philippe was the one who beamed brightest with satisfaction. His child sister was the primary of their household to go to varsity. He advised all his mates.
“Their connection was one thing particular,” says Cedric, the center Ivey brother. “It was a real love.”
Niele arrived in St. Louis that November after the solar had gone on Friday evening. On Saturday morning, Philippe requested if she wished to go to the park and stroll a lap.
Niele shared her fears and uncertainties. She wished solutions and readability. Halfway via the stroll, Philippe — who hoped to have a giant household himself — checked out his sister and positioned his hand on her stomach. When he did, Jaden kicked and Philippe reassured her that all the pieces can be effective, she simply needed to keep the course, she simply needed to belief herself.
“I really feel like I bought to soak up his vitality, and I wanted that on the time. I wanted that stability,” Niele says. “I simply felt grounded after spending time with him and speaking with him and him reassuring me. My soul wanted that.”
The following day, Niele and Tonya Jackson — her finest buddy since they have been 15 — determined to go to a St. Louis Rams sport. Considered one of Niele’s mates from Notre Dame was enjoying for the visiting Panthers and had gotten them two free tickets.
Philippe supplied to drive them so she wouldn’t should stroll to seek out parking. At six months pregnant, despite the fact that she was nonetheless figuring out twice a day, Niele was beginning to really feel the strains of her altering physique.
After the sport, she and Tonya waited on the nook of Washington and ninth as the gang dissipated right into a trickle. It wasn’t like Philippe to be late. It wasn’t like him to not choose up his telephone or reply to texts. In the end, Niele’s mother got here to choose them up.
On the drive residence, nobody spoke.
“The concern started to set in,” Tonya remembers. “It was simply very quiet.”
Niele prayed she would see her inexperienced, two-door Mercury Cougar sitting exterior the home when she returned. Her dad had gotten it for her the summer time earlier than, forward of her fifth yr at Notre Dame. She had by no means had a automobile earlier than, however she was excited for the liberty that one would convey, excited for the spur-of-the-moment journeys residence — just like the one which introduced her again to St. Louis that weekend — {that a} automobile would give her.
Nevertheless it wasn’t there.
That afternoon, a police chaplain walked up the stoop and onto the entrance porch. Together with a police officer, they defined that in the midst of a police chase, a pursued automobile ran a pink gentle at 90 miles per hour and struck Philippe’s automobile as he pulled into the intersection on his approach to choose up Niele and Tonya. He was killed immediately, they believed. When Cedric later spoke to individuals who lived blocks away from the crash website, they advised him it gave the impression of an explosion.
When Niele and Theresa bought residence from the hospital, they waited within the kitchen. When her dad Thomas walked in, Niele stayed quiet as her mother advised him. The day earlier than had been his birthday. He had been so comfortable that every one 5 of his children have been residence, so comfortable to have a full home.
For the primary time in Niele’s life, she noticed her father cry.
They buried Philippe every week later. She wore a black gown to his funeral that she had to purchase within the maternity part at some retailer within the native mall as a result of she hadn’t packed something formal for her weekend residence. There was no purpose to convey such an outfit
The church was crammed to capability. Everybody had a distinct story of Philippe serving to them, and by no means asking for the credit score. He had at all times been so quiet, however the reminiscences boomed. For months after his loss of life, strangers got here by the Ivey home with cash, saying they wished to lastly pay Philippe again for one thing he had executed for them.
“You can understand in that second the magnitude of who he was as an individual, of his soul and the way he touched folks in such an attractive approach,” Niele mentioned.
For every week after the burial, Niele stayed in St. Louis. However being in the home the place she grew up with Philippe was too arduous. His absence lived in each room.
She remembers wanting via the newspapers for point out of his loss of life, and when she lastly discovered a three-sentence clip, she cried.
“It was this small paragraph,” Ivey says. “How traumatizing that was for us, that it was simply one other day.”
She wished folks to know Philippe the best way she did.
The older brother who traveled as much as Notre Dame to construct Niele’s dorm furnishings and transfer her out and in yearly. The buddy who realized how you can repair a automobile simply because his buddy’s broke down and he couldn’t afford to take it to the store. The one that was vegan earlier than it was fashionable. The person who fell in love with martial arts and hoped to go to China to be taught extra about its historical past. The artist who crocheted scarves and hats for mates and constructed a marble chess set.
The one who had at all times pushed Niele to pursue extra.
And the longer she stayed in St. Louis, the extra she knew she needed to return to South Bend.
“Philippe was the spirit driving me,” Niele says. “I knew that he would’ve wished me to proceed going ahead.”
Notre Dame was the place Niele felt the most secure. When she arrived as a freshman, she advised Philippe how totally different it felt from the place they grew up. There was much less happening, fewer folks round, and each of these issues wrapped Niele like a blanket.
When she realized she was pregnant midway via her rookie season in June 2001, she had felt so afraid of the unknown. Being pregnant had not been part of her plan. She hid it from the Indiana Fever workers and most of her teammates, masking the morning illness, dreading the 6 a.m. flights and what these would do to her abdomen.
However she knew the second her rookie season was over she’d return to the place that made the remainder of this being pregnant really feel manageable — to South Bend. And he or she knew, as soon as she had her child, she’d keep there, recovering and dealing her approach again into basketball form so she may enter coaching camp simply six weeks after giving delivery. It was the place she felt she may do the near-impossible.
However these three months in South Bend — between Philippe’s passing and her son Jaden’s delivery — are nonetheless a blur. She will be able to’t bear in mind how she bought again to campus that November or how she celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Yr’s. Or if she celebrated in any respect. She remembers then-Notre Dame coach Muffet McGraw exhibiting as much as her residence and giving her the keys to her automobile.
“Use it so long as you want,” she advised her.
Niele was grateful for the automobile, however extra grateful she wouldn’t have to go to a dealership solely to have a salesman ask her the worst query: Why are you on the lookout for a brand new automobile?
She didn’t drive a lot. Niele principally solely floated between her residence, the physician’s workplace for routine visits and the Notre Dame weight room and fitness center. There have been solely so many intersections in between these three locations.
However there was the sunshine that permeated the profound unhappiness and vacancy of these three months. As devastating as November had been, and as a lot as that lingered, everybody was wanting ahead to February, when she was due. She had already picked out the identify Jaden, had even advised Philippe that day within the park. And when Jaden arrived on the earth, she gave him Philippe’s center identify — Dhananjay.
“I felt like Jaden actually was going to avoid wasting us,” Ivey mentioned. “And I didn’t imply to place that on him, however he positively saved us.”
Nationwide champion Niele Ivey (33) succeeded Notre Dame ‘s Muffet McGraw in 2020. McGraw retired after 33 years as head coach. (Jamie Schwaberow / NCAA Photographs through Getty Pictures
For a very long time after Jaden was born, Niele didn’t go residence.
She was a busy new mother. She was nonetheless pursuing her WNBA profession. There was a lot happening.
The reality was that it was too arduous to even take into consideration St. Louis.
If she noticed a Missouri license plate, she’d cry. If she noticed a Bronco like Philippe’s beloved automobile (that previous 1972 yellow Bronco that everybody ragged on him for), she’d cry. If she noticed the Gateway Arch on TV, she’d cry.
Ultimately, she did return residence. However it will take one other 10 years to go to the scene of Philippe’s loss of life for the primary time. And till then, she’d purposely concoct routes to keep away from being inside blocks of that downtown intersection.
However there’s a peace that comes with sufficient time and area and perspective. It was a peace that Philippe appeared to innately have, at the same time as a child. And it’s a peace that Niele at all times admired in him, and one which many say Niele has herself.
So ultimately, Niele made peace with that intersection. It’s the place Philippe was taken from her; it’s not the place his reminiscence or story continues to reside. That’s all over the place else — in variety moments and massive smiles; in walks via the park; in contemporary bread and entrance porches; in Jaden, who has grow to be a father himself.
She sees Philippe within the 2001 nationwide title and her profession at Notre Dame, the place she’s in her fourth yr as head coach. The No. 10 Preventing Irish open the season Monday towards No. 4 South Carolina at Halle Georges Carpentier Enviornment in Paris.
“Once I take into consideration him, I consider all his unbelievable qualities,” Niele says. “Your older siblings at all times train you issues. And that’s what he taught me — to reside with a way of function, to reside with kindness, to deal with folks with kindness.”
When Niele was 23, she thought that nationwide championship evening was excellent.
Now, at 46, she seems again at images, sees Philippe smiling and is aware of how proper she was.
(Illustration: Samuel Richardson / The Athletic; images: Courtesy of Niele Ivey; Chris Schwegler / NBAE through Getty Pictures
