Adam Silver does not condone tanking. You might have heard. Silver addressed the issue at All-Star Weekend during a press conference so uncomfortable for the commissioner that I half expected him to throw a smoke bomb into the assembly and disappear through a trap door.
Silver continued his anti-tanking crusade last week and informed the league’s general managers that more guardrails would be installed next season. There were a lot of potential proposals, all of them flawed. In the league’s haste to discourage tanking, it seems the NBA has decided it can absolutely take this leap into once more changing the rules without really considering whether it should. Or, crucially, whether it’s necessary.
It’s no surprise that Tank Watch is fully in favor of tanking. As we’ve outlined in this space previously, there might be more teams doing a better job of it this season than we’ve seen in recent years, but it’s hard to blame them given the quality of the upcoming draft. Not to mention that there’s still a robust regular season underway with more than enough teams jockeying for playoff position to make the NBA’s overall product compelling. It increasingly feels like the league is trying to solve for a problem that really isn’t one.
And here Tank Watch turns to a most unlikely hero: Mark Cuban.
The former Mavs frontman turned minority stakeholder made some good points about tanking, principally that fans aren’t stupid. They know the deal here. Not every team can be an actual contender. Silver’s push for parity is right — to a point. A case could be made that at least four teams have a real shot to win both conferences. That’s a welcome development from both the league and consumer perspectives.
But if you’re a fan of, say, the Bulls, Grizzlies or Mavericks, no amount of squinting and pretending is going to convince you that a late-season push and a run at making the play-in is suddenly going to give those teams a shot at doing anything meaningful in the postseason. Better to optimize those lottery odds and increase the most valuable commodity for any fanbase desperate to turn around its fortunes: hope.
Admittedly, this is hardly a surprising position for Tank Watch to adopt. And it might even be the minority opinion. But there’s a not-insignificant portion of fans who are unabashedly pro-tank. For them the traditional rhythms of a basketball calendar year are inverted; regular-season games become less important and interesting than offseason tentpoles like the combine, the lottery, the draft and summer league. Tankathon exists for a reason, after all. Some people love that stuff. (Hi, it’s me, some people.) Alas, the league’s latest crusade will undoubtedly constrain tanking even further. Best to enjoy this less-regulated version while we still have it to kick around.
Note: Teams are rated based on who’s doing the best job of being bad in a given week. Teams that lose and find innovative ways to get around the league’s player participation policy will rise in the rankings. Teams that accidentally win a game they wish they would have lost will fall.
NBA Tank Rankings — Feb. 24
1. Sacramento Kings (13-46)
Last week: 1
You can’t lose them all. The Kings dropped a franchise record 16 straight games before snapping their streak of futility with an accidental road win in Memphis on Monday.
In the last week, the Kings shut down the following players for the season: Domantas Sabonis (meniscus), Zach LaVine (hand) and De’Andre Hunter (eye). For good measure, Dylan Cardwell is expected to miss a month with an ankle injury. The league can’t fine you for not playing guys if those guys aren’t available to play. (Think about it.)
Meanwhile, the players who have been on the floor are playing some special basketball (derogatory but also complimentary). In a loss to the Spurs last week, the Kings managed to turn the ball over during a five-on-one break. Behold the majesty.
2. Indiana Pacers (15-43)
Last week: 5
The Pacers got a good talking to in last week’s Tank Watch after beating the Nets. Tough love was in order.
Indiana got the message. The Pacers came out of the All-Star break and promptly lost back-to-back games at Washington. Jay Huff was smoking in the second game and had 22 points (and five 3s) in 16 minutes through the first three quarters. For his efforts, he got to watch the fourth quarter proceedings from the bench. Can’t be too careful about these things.
The Pacers also snapped Dallas’s 10-game losing streak by falling to the Mavericks at home. Tank Watch salutes you, Indiana.
3. Dallas Mavericks (20-36)
Last week: 4
The Mavs had lost 10 straight before running into the aforementioned and newly determined Pacers. These things happen. Over that 10-game stretch, the Mavs were 26th in defensive rating and 27th in offense.
They’ve plotted a course toward the bottom that not only includes Cuban’s public embrace of tanking but also the organization’s decision to shut down Kyrie Irving. Earlier this season we were led to believe that Irving, who is recovering from an ACL injury, was ahead of schedule. Now he’s got the year off and we won’t see him until next season.
Irving’s agent said the decision was about “Kyrie being 1,000%” and giving him the best chance to “chase a championship next season.” Yes, of course that’s what it’s about. Who among us would doubt otherwise?
Something to monitor: Cooper Flagg (foot) was ruled out well in advance of Tuesday’s game against the Nets. That will be the fourth straight game he’s missed. [Side-eye emoji.]
4. Chicago Bulls (24-34)
Last week: 6
The Bulls have lost nine in a row and 12 of their last 13. During the nine-game skid the average margin of defeat has been 16.5 points. They’re getting rolled at both ends of the floor.
Anfernee Simons left the Pistons game early with a wrist injury and didn’t play against the Knicks on Sunday. Jaden Ivey is out at least two weeks with a knee issue. Zach Collins — remember Zach Collins? Anyone? — who is totally still on the team will miss the remainder of the season after opting for toe surgery. This is the best the Bulls have been at doing anything in years.
5. Utah Jazz (18-40)
Last week: 2
The Jazz fall this week mainly by virtue of not being the teams listed above. After getting fined $500,000 for trying to game the system by fiddling with the minutes distribution of certain players, the Jazz changed course and opted for a more direct route. Lauri Markkanen sat out several games due to illness. (Flu season is no joke.) Keyonte George missed several games with an ankle issue.
We should also address Jusuf Nurkic. He was not on the injury report going into the All-Star Break. Then after the break he did not play due to a sudden nose injury. Sure! On Monday, it was announced that he’ll undergo nose surgery and will miss the remainder of the season. Keep your noses safe out there, everyone.
6. Memphis Grizzlies (21-35)
Last week: 7
Losing to the Kings at home is the stuff of tank lore. Future tankers will re-tell this tale for generations to come.
The Grizzlies have lost seven of their last 10 and are only one game up on the Mavericks. They’re beginning to believe (in the tank).
7. Brooklyn Nets (15-41)
Last week: 8
This is more like it. The Nets have dropped four in a row and 12 of their last 15. Over that period the Nets are dead last in net rating. In the process, they’ve dipped below the Wizards in the standings and trail Washington by a full game. Only the Pacers — who the Nets lost to at home in an inspired defeat before the All-Star break — and the (not-so) mighty Kings have worse winning percentages.
Only one note of concern here: Michael Porter Jr played 35 minutes in a loss at Atlanta and 38 in a loss at OKC. That’s too many minutes. MPJ needs to catch a bad case of Nurk Nose™️.
8. Washington Wizards (16-40)
Last week: 3
Sure, the Wizards managed to lose to the Hornets on Sunday, but those two wins over the Pacers at home hurt their case here. On the plus side, the Wizards have the second-worst point differential in the NBA at a ghastly minus-10.3. Only the Kings have gotten pushed around by a wider margin. Anthony Davis (hand) will be re-evaluated in two weeks. Trae Young is reportedly “ramping up” and will be re-evaluated in one week. Tank Watch remains skeptical that either of them play this season.
NR Milwaukee Bucks (24-31)
The Bucks lost at home to the Raptors by 28 on Sunday. That’s a start. But prior to that Milwaukee had won six of its last seven.
The Bucks are only 1 ½ games back of the Charlotte Hornets for the final play-in spot. Milwaukee has been put on Tank Watch probation until the Bucks come to their senses.
Tank Wars Game(s) of the Week
Mavericks at Nets, Tuesday, 7:30 pm ET
[Imagining how pregame press availability should go.]
Reporter: Why is MPJ on the injury report?
Jordi Fernandez: Ah man yeah he’s out indefinitely with Nurk Nose™️.
Kings at Mavericks, Thursday, 7:30 pm ET
Sacramento is doing all this with the 29th hardest remaining strength of schedule.
Tankathon Spin of the Week
Tankathon
What a tanking send-off this would be for the Wizards before they attempt to compete next year.
