49 Thoughts I Had While Watching Episode 1 of ‘All’s Fair’

I like Ryan Murphy at his most baroque and operatic (not for nothing did I watch all of Scream Queens!), which is what made me pretty positive that his starry new authorized drama, All’s Honest, can be up by alley. So, does the collection—starring Glenn Shut, Teyana Taylor, Naomi Watts, Sarah Paulson, Niecy Nash, and Kim Kardashian—certainly fall into the “guilty-as-hell pleasure” class? Discover each thought I had about it under.

1. Okay, I used to be anticipating some form of fabulous ramp-up or introductory chilly open right here, however it’s simply…Kim Kardashian and Naomi Watts queening out about office sexism.
2. Like, I actually rewound to verify I didn’t miss an establishing shot.
3. Kim’s supply of the road “Um, senior managing companion?” is so nuts that I believe I truly like it and perhaps need it as my ringtone.
4. Hey, it’s Glenn Shut! In a pussy bow!
5. Fascinated with Leslie Knope making an attempt to say “Glenn Close” whereas wasted on Parks and Recreation.
6. Okay, so Kim and Naomi are going to start out a girls’s boutique divorce regulation agency? With Glenn’s blessing?
7. NIECY! I’ve forgiven this present for its abrupt begin already.
8. That mentioned, I’m undecided about Niecy’s bangs state of affairs.
9. Each time Sarah Paulson walks confidently and bitchily onto a Ryan Murphy set, a homosexual angel (gayngel?) will get its wings.
10. First occasion of somebody angrily smashing all the things off a desk (however probably not the final!).
11. Golda Meir quote :/
12. I actually don’t know what Sarah’s injury is, however I suppose we’ve got the entire present to be taught!
13. I need this home.
14. My ex-boyfriend, who I nonetheless reside with, strolling previous as I’m watching this present: “Is Kim simply…studying strains?”
15. Kim’s a soccer spouse! Love this play on her previous with Reggie Bush.
16. When you’re going to say “Elizabeth Taylor” onscreen, I’m going to sing everything of “Elizabeth Taylor” by Taylor Swift, sorry.
17. Teyana Taylor time!
18. Okay, somebody (Sarah) discovered hair straightening!
19. God, she’s actually strolling away with all the nice strains, isn’t she?
20. “You fats, treacherous garden chairs.” I’m confused, however I’m LOLing.
21. Sort of into these cutaways the place we see micro-snippets of the shoppers’ lives.
22. Hear, I’m at all times completely satisfied to see Grace Gummer, whatever the circumstances.
23. Love that this workplace appears to be pants-optional (for Teyana, anyway).
24. Did they lease out the shell of a former Wing workplace for his or her major location???
25. Lastly, some good meals (lesbian content material).
26. Judith Mild??!?!!?
27. Oh, the studio actually wrote Murphy a blank-ass casting verify, didn’t they?
28. Love this winged-eyeliner second for Judith.
29. I need a complete present about Judith schtupping the much-younger chef at Le Bernardin.
30. I’m confused by, however not fully immune to, Naomi’s trilby hat.
31. OMG, shoes!
32. To not point out the jewels!
33. Ought to I marry a imply wealthy man who doles out diamonds as apologies (if one can have me)?
34. KATE BERLANT HIVE, RISE UP!
35. I do know I’m yelling numerous girls’s names, however that’s simply the fabric I’ve been given to work with right here, okay?
36. “Information is the important thing within the lock.” So true, Kim.
37. I like when women stroll in synchronized gradual movement.
38. Did this enterprise assembly strictly have to occur in a intercourse dungeon?
39. Whoever was in command of discovering essentially the most generically evil-looking white guys potential for this boardroom scene did an ideal job.
40. Kim’s flipped bob! I die!
41. This “sow teat” scene……….I die. In a foul manner, this time.
42. Champagne time!
43. Divorce time! (For Kim and her tank-top-clad soccer man.)
44. Weak males actually can’t deal with robust girls, can they?
45. I like the idea of Kim (the character!) being shocked on the notion that she habitually picks loser males.
46. All’s Honest should be getting some highly effective sponsorship from the indoor-fireplace foyer.
47. OMG, Kim’s man is hooking up with Teyana?
48. And we acquired a Teyana ab reveal?
49. Nicely, that was…an episode of tv.